The Soup Nazi

If you don’t, or haven’t ever watched Seinfeld, this will make no sense to you.

Have you ever felt like you were trapped in an episode of Seinfield?  Well it happened to John and I a few weeks ago.  We were driving back to our house after a nice visit up to Star Valley when we decided to stop at Subway for some lunch.  My first bad feeling came via the truck stop that the Subway was housed in.  I knew right then and there I should have made John keep going, but the gnawing in my belly prevented that.  So in we go.  Let me back up a little, this truck stop, is the only thing for MILES, so needless to say, it was a little full of random truckers, tourist, and me and John.  My second bad feeling was when I walked in and everyone looked at us with sad eyes full of pity for what they knew was to come.  We secured our place in line and started our debate about what sounded the best.  There were 4 people working at Subway that day, and they needed even more because I am fairly certain that a few of them had lived too close to a nuclear plant when they were conceived, they were just not all put together ok.  So only one woman was working with them, and she forever changed my opinion of No Where Wyoming.  

“NEXT” she bellowed at us.  John steps up, as he is still looking at the menu, and hasn’t completely committed himself to any one sub just yet.  “WHAT WILL YOU HAVE SIR?”  Ok at this point girlfriend is getting ticked that we haven’t already decided.  She starts to glare at me as I poke John in the ribs trying to hurry this up before she kicks me out with no food.  John orders his, and now it is my turn, I step up, “MA’AM WHAT DO YOU WANT” I timidly place my order, and apparently it was just a little too timid. 

“MA’AM I SAID WHAT DO YOU WANT?” she says not very nice.  I order again.  “WHAT KIND OF CHEESE” shouted the Sub Nazi…(me)”um I would like Swiss please”,  “WE DON’T HAVE SWISS, SO WHAT KIND OF CHEESE DO YOU WANT?”…(me)”um ok, then I would like American”, “I ALREADY SAID WE DON’T HAVE THAT, SO WHAT KIND OF CHEESE DO YOU WANT MIS?” Sub Nazi in no way said she didn’t have American, she only said they didn’t have Swiss…(me)”Um how about you tell me what kind of cheese you do have, and then I will tell you what kind I want”, Sub Nazi is now ticked.  “WE ONLY HAVE MOZZARELLA”…(me)”well then Mozzarella it is”.

John is just staring, watching the exchange and hoping like mad that we are going to get out of there with our food, and that the Sub Nazi won’t kick us out hungry.  This is all before we get to the Nuclear byproducts they call cashiers, and I will spare you the details of that, but just know that it took us at least 5 minutes tyring to explain to him that we only ordered 2 subs, not 3.  So am I the only one that has even been stuck in a Seinfeld episode?     


4 thoughts on “The Soup Nazi

  1. That is too funny! I think I might possibly know which Subway you are refering to. I have never experienced the Sub Nazi there, but it truly is a unique truck stop/subway. 😉

  2. Seriously, Carolyn. Your post is so funny and so true! I seem to get the waiters who love to chat endlessly about their many troubles. What can you do? You’re TRAPPED! It’s like a bad testimony meeting where you can’t leave, but I guess that’s another post in itself!

  3. Your stupid blogs are hysterical! 🙂
    Oh, and I hate you for always having the cutest dang YW hand outs and treats. I wish I were talented like you. I bet the YW just love you!

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