Monday Night Confessions

  • My belly has now taken over and I am left with no room.  What does this mean for my morning bowl of oatmeal?  Well it means that in order for me to fit any inside me I have to prop my feet up on a chair and lean back so I can make room.  Otherwise I have to stand up to eat and I am way too lazy for that.  So basically if I owned a Lazy Boy I would move it right into my kitchen so I could eat in comfort. 
  • This weekend John and I attended a birthing class.  And let me tell you what, it was 2 whole fun-filled days of non-stop goodness.  I am going to have to say that my favorite part had to be the movie.  Here is what I am still troubled over, why in the world was the woman giving birth totally, and completely buck naked?  Why?  Where were her clothes?  Ok really it wasn’t so much that, I mean if that is how you feel most comfy ok, but really I am intrigued by the fact that she allowed people to film her giving birth totally nude and then let them make it into a film to show hundreds of other people.  Why?  Someone please tell me why.
  • Last weekend I learned that just because my pregnant feet can fit into my cute red shoes at the beginning of the night does not in any way mean that after 3 hours in a hot theater that they still will.  I felt like Cinderella’s step sisters trying to cram my big fat feet into shoes that were about 4 sizes too small.  It was a good lesson, only flats for the next month.

(That’s my big belly and my itty bitty red shoes)

  • Back to the birthing class, after watching the above mentioned video John and I had a few things we needed to cover before Tiny Baby gets here.  First, John has very specific instructions to not tell me anything.  As a matter of fact, I told him that he if even dares trying to give me a play by play of the gory details going on below my eye sight that I will promptly kick him out of the room.  There is no way that I want to hear about it.  After he is born I will hold him and be just fine, but until then I would like to pretend as much as possible that what is happening to my bits and goods down below isn’t really happening. 
  • Second thing, if he tells me to touch the baby’s head as it is crowing, like the woman’s husband in the movie did, he will be banished from the hospital all together.  I don’t want to touch anything until he is good and out of me. 
  • Oh and just in case you are wondering, I haven’t gotten any sleep for the last 2 days because I have been having terrible dreams about giving birth.  Stupid birthing class.