Monday Night Confessions

I am a bad blogger!  I haven’t wanted to spend time away from RR and since I can’t really blog with only one hand while holding him in the other, I have ignored the blog.  I am trying to soak up every single second that I can with him before I have to go back to work.  Here are my confessions for the last few Mondays.  WARNING: The word boob gets used an insane amount of times in my post, if this offends you, don’t read past the first 2 🙂

  • One of the terrible side effects of having a baby has to be the night sweats.  They are horrible!  For the first almost 3 weeks I would have to put out a total change of clothes on my nightstand so I could get up in the middle of night and put on dry clothes.  It was crazy.  They are getting better thankfully because all the extra laundry sure wasn’t fun. 
  • I sleep with a sleep mask.  Yup, a sleep mask.  I apparently think I am a pretty princess who must have her beauty sleep, so I use a sleep mask.  Ok so that is embarrassing enough, but here is the thing, I totally cannot sleep without it.  I just can’t, it has become almost like a stupid security blanket that little kids drag around.  So guess who packed one in her hospital bag and used it?  Oh yeah, that was me.  How stupid I must have looked to the nurses coming in to have me feed my baby as I lay there with a sleep mask on!  HAHA, I am a loser. 
  • Let’s talk about boobs for a minute should we?  First of all, mine still didn’t really get any bigger when my milk came in, thus the need to supplement I suppose.  But could nursing boobs come with more things?  Let me tell you about all the fun attachments, gadgets, lotions and potions that I have for mine.
  • First of all I have boob pads.  They are super fun, I feel like I am stuffing my bra.  I never even did that when I was growing up, but I sure am now. 
  • Boob cream.  This is great stuff.  It helps them feel better and makes them all nice and soft and smooth.  Bad thing is that it is a total pain to put it on every single time afterwards, but still totally worth it.  The first time I put it on I was still pregnant (thanks for the advice Becca) and I came in the bedroom and told John that I officially felt like a milk cow because boob cream is nothing but Bag Balm minus the nasty smell. 
  • Nursing bras.  I have a thing with nursing bras, I was obsessed with getting me a padded nursing bra with underwire.  I have this phobia of having soggy nursing boobs, I still wanted my boobs to look normal and not all mushy.  I am a freak, I know.
  • Boob tea.  Yup they have a tea for your boobs.  It is called Mother’s Milk and it is supposed to help you produce better milk.  I will admit that it has helped me out, but at a cost.  I have to drink 4-5 cups A DAY!  I am to the point of tears now when I have to drink it because it tastes terrible (like black licorice).  I shudder when I think about the cup I have waiting for me in the kitchen. 
  • Boob pumps.  So I said that boob cream made me feel like a milk cow, well I was wrong, the breast pump does.  The first day that I tried using it John and I got laughing so hard I was crying.  Well I was crying from laughing and from the pain of having this terrible torture device hooked up to my chest.  I told John he better stop laughing or I was going to hook it up to him.  He told me that he had been strongly advised not to try that by our friends we borrowed the pump from.  Good advice. 
  • Ok so no more boob posts, but in the desire for nothing but total truth here on my blog, if you look back at my last MNC where I blogged about not having stretch marks, I have to now recant that dirty lie I told.  But here is the thing, it wasn’t a dirty lie 2 weeks ago, I really didn’t have one stretch mark on my belly, not one.  Again I was proud and vain and I had been warned time and time again by my Mother to not be.  She said that after she had my older sister that she had stretch marks appear a few weeks after delivery.  I didn’t believe her until last week when mine finally showed up.  They aren’t terrible, and I only have a very few light-colored ones.  This sucks because I am not lying, I didn’t have one single mark on my belly before last week, not a single teeny tiny one.  Vanity it a fickle whore I tell you. 

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!

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4 thoughts on “Monday Night Confessions

  1. This totally cracked me up! Especially because I’m envisioning this whole thing playing out for me very soon. 🙂 I obviously have no idea, but I heard underwire nursing bras cause mastitis. Let me know how it goes.

  2. CaR! You did stuff your bra growing up!! Shit Randa had us stuffing our swim suits for every Miss Dry Creek Beauty Pagent we had! I think i was stuffing my chest at age two!

  3. Oh Carolyn, you’re so funny. I know all about that stinkin’ Mother’s Milk Tea. I am seriously the worst nursing cow on the planet. I make no milk!! I tried everything to be a better cow, but I couldn’t produce! Try Fenugreek or Brewer’s Yeast sometimes they work. I even had my doc prescribe Reglan to help with the lactating, but no luck. Hope it works out for you!

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