Monday Night Confessions

 Duh Duh Duh…..

  • Mom guilt is an ugly dirty thing isn’t it?  I get Mom Guilt because I work and have to leave my son every day.  I hate leaving him, it breaks my heart when I walk out my front door at 7:00 a.m. 5 days a week.  I hate that when I come home I feel Mom Guilt if I do anything other than give him my 100% undivided attention.  I know he is little and won’t remember this, but I will.  I hate that my son is growing up without me there.  I hate that when I come home at nights he has more hair than when I left him, that he is a little bigger and a little fatter.  I am sad that I miss all the great things he does and learns during the day.  Don’t get me wrong, in an economy like this I am truly blessed to have this wonderful job that allows me to support my family, but man it is hard. 
  • RR is getting so independent and I have a love/hate thing with his budding independence.  I love to see him learn and grow and want to do things on his own.  It makes me proud that he is achieving his milestones and that his understanding is growing.  But….it makes me want to beat him sometimes.  Not really beat him, but you know, just kinda beat him.  Let’s take his bottle feedings, I swear he rips the bottle out of his mouth every 2 seconds and grins all big and wants me to be proud of him, and it’s all I can do not to laugh and then want to bop him on the head with his hot jug.  If I was still nursing it would drive me nuts, so at this time I will give thanks that he is bottle fed.
  •  I have talked about the evils of Facebook on my confessions before, but Facebook is like an evolving beast and so it warrants new comments every now and again.  I have to say that I love the “hide” button on FB.  I love that when big political things happen and everyone runs to FB to cheer on one side or the other, that for a few weeks I can hide the ones who are the most vocal about the subject.  And don’t you worry, I am very bipartisan when it comes to hiding people, I hide both sides.  It makes my FB viewing much more pleasant when I don’t have to be bombarded by it all.  Then once the storm blows over I unhide them all again so I can read the fun, normal, day-to-day, non political things that happen in their lives.  So thank you FB for the “hide” button, I {heart} you, as I am sure everyone else is who has hidden me thanks to that stupid annoying Farmville, and you know what, I’m good with that too.  
  • So a few weeks back I went and joined Weight Watchers, and lost myself a little weight (yay me, good job, pats on my back).  You know what drives me nuts about this?  The fact that I have to pay a company $40 a month  to help me lose weight because I apparently can’t do it unless I pay someone.  I mean honestly Carolyn, put the fork down, how hard is that?  Whatever, at least something is working huh?
  • I still wear my maternity shirts to sleep in at night.  Why did I not think of those before I ever had a baby?  They are like a little piece of heaven, they are big and soft and comfy and I love sleeping in them.  I am thinking of buying me a few new ones to add in the rotation.  Ok so I am not really going to buy new ones just to sleep in, at least not right now. 



Here are some random pictures from this past week.

Here is a fun fact about this laundry he is sitting in, it is still clean, and still sitting in that exact same basket where it has resided for the past week and a half now. 

He thought it was so cool when I put him in here.  He giggled and smiled for us. 

As you can see, we are still working on the big kid food thing.  Also, it turns out my kid is a finger sucker, he adores these 2 fingers on his left hand. 

I laughed so hard when I saw this turtle at the store because it looks like my kid.  So I bought it.  John named him Rigor Mortis the Tortoise.  We call him Riggy for short. 




I love the stare down. 


His Dad can always get the biggest smiles out of him. 


Baby Kendree

This is my friend KaLee’s darling baby girl.  KaLee is a champ, first of all she had this baby with NO drugs (not by choice), she had lost ALL of her baby weight by the time her baby was a week old, AND she didn’t find out what she was having, she wanted to be surprised.  You can read all about it on her blog.  I am in awe of all 3 of the above mentioned things.  This little gal was barely 6 pounds when she was born, so she was the 2nd smallest baby I have been able to photograph.








KaLee made this awesome blanket before she had the baby.  She made bedding for a girl baby and a boy baby since she wasn’t finding out.  I was so excited that she had a girl so she could use the adorable bedding!


This is one of my favorite pictures from this set.



Congrats again KaLee, Ronnie and Easton!

I Gave Birth To A Monster

Not monster as in a bad kid, just a monster sized child.  Friday was his 4 month appointment with the Dr and RR now weighs in at a sturdy 17.1 pounds, which is 95% for his age, and he is 27 inches long which is 97% for his age.  He is a big happy baby and I couldn’t have ask for a sweeter little boy to call my son. 

A Snapshot of Life

When I bought a new calendar for 2010 I went through 2009 to copy down birthdays and such on my shiny new calendar.  While going through the last year I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic regarding 2009 and all of the events of that year.  It is stupid to keep calendars forever so I decided to take a few pictures of important dates and things that I had written down.

This is March 2009, down at the bottom you see that I have written November 10th, RR’s original due date.  I scribbled it down the day I found out I was pregnant.  After calling John at school, the next person I called was my sister Randa.  I was still crying too hard to think straight so she looked up my due date for me and I knew that if I didn’t write it down that second I would totally forget. 


April 10th was my first official doctor’s appointment.  I had had a few other appointments before this one because of how long it took me to get pregnant, but it was a huge relief to make it to this appointment. 


May 17th John flew to Alaska to live for the summer for his internship.  I drove him to Denver to the airport and I wouldn’t allow myself to cry until I got home.  Once I was home I lost it and had a good long cry for the night. 


June 26th.  It was the first time I had seen my husband since he left in May.  He came home for the big ultrasound.  It was this day we found out we were having a baby boy.  It was a great weekend and it went too quickly.  Back to Alaska he went only 3 days later. 


July 22nd and it was my turn to go and see Johnny.  One missed plane and a day later than was originally planned, and I finally made it to Anchorage.  I was 6 months pregnant and my belly had grown a lot since the last time John had seen me.  It was in Alaska on our boat trip around the harbor that he felt our baby kick for the first time. 



In August John started his last year of Law School.  When this journey began we never thought we would see the beginning of the 3rd year, and now we are only weeks away from the end of it.  Crazy how time flies. 


You can also see on each Tuesday I have written what week I was.  You would think I could do that on my own without a calendar, but I could hardly remember my own name when I was pregnant, so remembering what week I was without having a cheat would have been impossible.  

All I know is that 2009 was a really good year for me. 

Blue Eyed Boy


Children’s Eyes
By Tom Krause

Do they see strength in caring eyes
        who watch them as they play–
or maybe love through gentle hands
        that guide them on their way?

Do you think they dream of future times
        when they would be king–
        or just enjoy their present life
        while with their friends they sing?

Do they see the acts of kindness
        done for people who are poor?
Is the very best in everyone
        what they are looking for?

And when the day is over,
        as they close their eyes to sleep,
        do they look forward to tomorrow
        with its promises to keep?

If this is what the children see,
        then it should be no surprise,
        the world would be a better place
        if we all had children’s eyes.