I am the sister of a hardcore, full-blown, long-term drug addict.  This is my story, not hers.  These will be my thoughts on what it is to be related to a drug addict.  

It sucks.  It is the worst thing you could imagine.  It isn’t something that only affects her, her addictions have effected my entire family for more than 10 years now.  10 years.  10 long heart breaking, stressful, tear filled, rage filled, sorrowful years. 

It is on going, and never-ending.  Over the years we have had glimmers of the old Halie, the one that we lost to drugs, but it was only short glimpses.  Very short.

Growing up she and I are only 15 months apart, she being the younger of us.  We were best friends growing up.  She was beyond fun, she was always so bubbly and full of life.  Everyone loved her.  Do you know that to this day there is no one, and I mean no one that can me laugh as hard as she could?  She could get me laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face, I could hardly breath when she got me laughing.  We had such good times.

Those times are hard for me to remember.  Hard to think back on.  They break my heart.  They make me sad.  They are hard to look back on because so many of those good memories have been replaced with the horror of what is now my reality.  That the girl I grew up with is gone.  She is forever changed.  Even if she could ever get clean, she is gone.  My son with never know that girl, my husband didn’t even get to know that girl.  And at times I forget that girl even existed.

There are so many stories to tell.  I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t know how often I will write about them, but I feel like I need to, for my own sanity. 

But for today, if you can, please keep my family and more importantly her 2 beautiful, perfect children in your prayers.